ass-lazy tropicana of the mind
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2001-12-18
"Well she could've been a killer if she didn't walk the way she do..."
God, I feel like a David Bowie song.
"She had a horror of rooms, she was tired, you can't hide beat."
That'd be me there. Tired, you can't hide beat.
Been staring at miniatures for the past two days, making sure they're the accurate sizes, and let me tell you, brother, if I have to look at another fucking hobbit again, I'm going to go mad and start stomping on 'em with my boots while screaming "Ring this, bitches! Ring this!"
Yeah. You know it.
However, something rather gorgeous occured today. As I was leaving the house, the mail was already in, and I saw a slim package addressed to me.
"Hmm..." I said to the husband, currently home sick with a chest infection. "I wonder what this might be..."
Well, no, I didn't say that. I said "Wheeee! I'm gonna open it and you can't stop me!" or something equally juvenile. Because I am five.
So I ripped open the box, and I ripped off the wrapping paper, and lo, my eyes did see...
Britney.
On DVD.
Be still my beating heart. I have long legs and swiveling hips and that sexpot from Kenner on DVD! Pause! Zoom! Repeat!
Oh God, it's going to rot my brain and I'm going to have a glorious time while it does it. I'm going to end up retarded and slobbering, unable to function in society except to stare blankly at women's chests and occcasionally mumble "boobies."
And I! Don't! Care!
It's from my Secret Santa, who I need to desperately email, but if he's still reading this...
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.
And I thank you for my incipient stupidity.
Although, right now, I am not listening to Britney. I'm not listening to anything pop. I've got Bowie's "Lady Stardust" on repeat and I really don't know why.
Well, I do know why, but I'm trying to pretend that I don't.
See, I have this vision in my head of an utterly delicious Devon/Oz story, that, if it were filmed, would be filmed with "Lady Stardust" playing in the background, and it's just making me all bittersweet nostalgic just thinking about it...
He stands at the back of the club, watching the band. Devon's hair is longer, and he's dressing a little less sparkly, but he's still the same -- still the rock under rapid waters.
The set's smooth, and Devon's smiling at the end of it, the audience applauding wildly as he walks off the stage and towards the bar. The jukebox is turned back on and something slow and sweet starts playing.
He sees his chance and he makes his way towards Devon. "Dev," he says, just loud enough to be heard over the jukebox.
Devon turns around and takes a step back in surprise. "Oz..." he says quietly. "Oz, man..." He grins. "Dude...is it really you?"
Oz matches Devon's grin with a soft smile and nods. "Couldn't be anyone else."
"Yeah...wow..." Devon nods. "Dude, where have you been?"
Oz shrugs. "Here and there."
"Wow..." Devon says again. "Hey, did you see the band?"
Oz nods. "Yeah, you've really got a good group together..."
Devon nods. "Yeah, but, dude, if you were in it...then we'd be knocking them dead."
Oz's smile grows wider. "If they were dead, then they wouldn't be able to buy the CD..."
Devon blinks, then laughs. "You got me, man, you got me." He wraps his arm around Oz's shoulders. "Can I get you a beer or something?"
Oz shakes his head. "No, I'm good."
Devon talks to the bartender, and, as the bartender hands him a bottle, starts digging around in his pockets. "I could've sworn..."
Oz pulls a few bills out of his pocket, shaking his head bemusedly, and hands them to the bartender.
Devon smiles. "Thanks, man," he says before tipping the bottle back.
It doesn't quite have the right sort of "I smiled sadly for a love I could not obey" vibe to it, but it's a start...
Although I shouldn't be writing Devon/Oz. I have Cordy/Faith to write for secret slasha, and by gum, that's what I should be writing.
Although I need a new tack. I was going to go with something that was based on the plot of the song "Only Straight Girls Wear Dresses," (sleazy sex in season 3 Bronze), but, now, I don't know. I need something new. I need to think about this. Maybe dig out that part of a story where Faith kidnapped Cordelia instead of Wesley in "Five by Five." Something like that.
Something with a bit of wit and a bit of sharpness. Something that feels like Cordelia and Faith should -- bitch queen and bad girl, riding up on each other with that animosity at a fucking high....
This should be easier than it is. I mean, fuck, we're talking about putting my bloody dreamgirls together -- the two women on the show that I flat-out fall down and freakin' worship.
I just need to get my brains together. Yeah.
But right now, I should get back to the freakin' hobbits.
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