ass-lazy tropicana of the mind
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2002-03-27
Entering the modern world...
It's late, I've spent all day swamped in hobbits and most of tonight in a smoky pub, so, forgive me, I'm more than a little punchy.
Punchy punch punch.
Today, I have become British. Today, I am a part of the mainstream culture.
Today, I own a mobile phone.
I've been meaning to get one, just because, y'know, it's easier to plan strange listmeets and whatnot if you have a phone right there and right now, but we were a bit iffy with the spending, so it wasn't until now that we got one.
It's just a simple little Nokia one, with a bunch of hideous ringtones and a plain blue case, but, hey, it's a phone. That I get to use.
Now, owning a phone is actually rather amusing to me, because, well...
I can work on a computer until the small bovines come home, I can dream in HTML and CSS, I can do all this and more...
But hand me a phone, and I'm totally lost.
No, really.
Hand me a huge phone system with a million different extensions and buttons to push and whatnot, and I'm totally lost.
It takes me five minutes, and I promptly hang up on everyone, I forget names, I change calls, I screw everything up.
I know this, because I've done this -- at my main New Orleans job, I had to run the phones for the company. Granted, the company consisted of me and three other people, but, still, answering phones -- a scary thing.
I can answer all right, I think. But then when people ask me questions, I space out, and then when they ask me to transfer, well, that's when it all goes horribly wrong.
So now I have a mobile.
Which has twenty million buttons, five different features and styles and fuck all, and here I am barely able to handle the "transfer call" function on the phone at work.
Dude, I'm either going to be totally inept at this, or I'll start considering it a smaller version of my macintosh and kick ass.
But it'll probably be somewhere inbetween -- I know that there'll be things I just completely forget about.
But...yeah...a phone. A freakin' mobile phone.
Damn.
If you're in the UK, just a brief reminder to watch The Mark Thomas Product. Wednesday nights at 11. You know you need to.
And if you're in the US, then why in the hell haven't you bought Michael Moore's new book?
And if you're elsewhere, well, find your own personal liberal commentator/comedian of choice and throw money at them. It's what has to be.
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