ass-lazy tropicana of the mind
new / old / about / reading / rings / guestbook
2002-05-22
Insomnia...bloody red eyes go to sleep..
Insomnia has me by the balls.
Except that it's not really insomnia. Because I did sleep today. I had a nap from around 7:30 to 10, and yesterday I had a nap from around 6:30 to 9...
But it's 2:22 am and I can't get to sleep. The husband's snoring softly next to me, I have a pillow blocking the light of my laptop from him so that he sleeps, but me...
I can't sleep.
This frustrates me to no end. I love to sleep. It's not just something to do when you have to for me, it's something that's wonderful. I can dream. I can curl up in the covers and feel so warm and safe and happy.
"Boy, I love sleep. I'm gonna wake up so that I can go back to sleep again."
Yeah, Brak, I know how it is.
I had my financial-year-end review today at work, which went smashingly, as you can all imagine since I am Queen of the Known Universe.
Well, okay, I lied about the queen bit. But it did go smashingly.
Still trying to figure out my place in the world and the company, but that's to be expected. Middle class white young heterosexual males aren't just the ideal demographic for the workshop -- they're most of the employees too.
So it's hard enough being a girl, and a girl who isn't in admin or one of the other "safe" positions, and then a queer girl, and then a queer girl who fell in love with a man and will talk on and on about her darling husband while also ogling the latest Britney Spears pictures... It doesn't compute for most of them.
Which is a bother. To say the least. But I manage.
I've decided that I need to get more queer shirts though -- tasteful ones, mind you. I can't go in wearing my Birdland or my "Nasty Queer" t-shirt, but if I get a shirt that says "dykeadelic" in a nice silver glitter brush script, I think I can swing that one by.
I have to wonder where my "Strong Enough For A Man But Made For A Woman" shirt is too. And I wish I had kept my Tulane Lesbian And Gay Law Journal t-shirt. And some of my other ones.
I also kinda wish I had kept my "I fucked Mick Jagger" David Bowie shirt, but there was no way in hell I could wear it -- content aside, it was way too small. Like, past the point of obscenity and into the point of blocked airflow.
But it could always be worse. I really do love my job -- I get to play with HTML all day, I have cool people that I work with, and I just generally have a blast every day. Sometimes I get a little irritated, but who doesn't?
I'm never really truly bored for most of a day. And that's what's important. At my last job, I would spend weeks where I was desperately bored. But, here, there's always something that needs doing, and even if there isn't (like that ever happens), there's always something that I need to pick up and start figuring out.
I'm such a corporate whore!
I'm going to try to get some sleep now.
visit other places: dymphna.net / livejournal / wish list
joined: diary reg / diary crit / diary review / tiki reviews / gblog / little queer / hit or miss / mac-made / btjs:cordy
designed february 2002 by kate bolin, dymphna.net design. space provided by diaryland. looks best in ie5+ on a macintosh, but that's unsurprising, isn't it?