ass-lazy tropicana of the mind
new / old / about / reading / rings / guestbook
2001-12-20
Lord Of The Cockrings
So before The Fellowship Of The Ring came out, the husband and I were trying to come up with your typical porn movie variations on the title. Lord of the Cockrings was his choice, whereas I was going for Lord of the Ring with a nice ass shot on the cover.
Although, now that I think about it, The Felching Of The Ring would be appropriate for the first movie...
And, yes, that is an appropriate segue into me saying "I have seen the movie."
Of course I'd see the movie. Have I not been working on a company website related to it for the past seven months? Have I not spent this week resizing miniatures so that they're the right dimensions and appropriate looking? Did I not end up rushing around (well, as much as you can rush while sitting at a keyboard -- um, typing furiously, maybe) today because "we have to get something about the Balrog up there!"
Yeah, so, I saw the movie.
(And I honestly meant to write about this last night, but when I got home, I was in an absolute state over a variety of things, including not eating since around noon save some popcorn, not going out for a drink with my friends, and then realizing that I had no friends in Nottingham. I wept, I was comforted by the darling darling husband, and then went promptly to sleep.)
So the movie was good. It didn't change my life, it wasn't the greatest moment of my year, and it wasn't even the greatest movie I've seen this year. It was a damn fine movie, it was an enjoyable ride, and I'd certainly see it again.
Elijah Wood so wants my dick. He's just too pretty and too sweet to not want it. He's going "Kate, please, you should fuck me. Because look at how pretty I am. Even though you don't really have a dick. Please, still, fuck me with it."
Cate Blanchett on the other hand, I would have her babies. I would fall down and worship her, and goddamn, she's positively gorgeous. The scene where she is tempted by the ring and starts talking about how she would rule as a queen of beauty and terror...*swoon* Yes, it would be hell on middle earth, but what a glorious way to go!
And my word, was not Sam just begging for it from Frodo throughout the entire movie? You just know it was "Please, Mr. Frodo, give it to me! Yes, Mr. Frodo! Yes!"
Um. Yes. Sorry. I'll stop talking about giving it and getting it from actors and fictional characters...
(And I'm not even getting into how Angela is getting me psyched for The Two Towers with her camptastic Legolas/Gimli commentary...)
See, and that all segues into my next bit of ramble. Because I love fandom.
I love slash fandom. I love people on my friends list and in blogs and everything. I love y'all.
Because, last night, as I said, I was fucking miserable. I was cold and tired and hungry and I had just seen this movie that was incredible, but no one wanted to listen to anything I had to say about it.
And I felt lonely and lost and I just wanted someone there with me that would understand.
But after I dried my eyes and got online, I started reading people's pages, and there it was! There was Angela scanning in the cover of The Two Towers to show me the gayness of Gimli and Legolas! There was Katie with a comment about Sam and Frodo, and someone else commenting how Sam would shout "Oh yes, Mr. Frodo! Yes!"
And it was fabulous. I felt like shouting from the rooftops "I'm not the only one! I'm not trapped in this male, heterosexual world where it's just about the weaponry and not about the fucking!"
Because...sometimes...
I love my job. I love the environment. I love the fact that we're all big fucking nerds and we do big fucking nerdy things...
But, fuck, I miss being around slashers. I get so fucking tired of how homoeroticism is just for the occasional "You're so gay" joke, and how lesbianism is something you get in Page 5 girls.
I get tired of being around guys. I want to be around slashers.
And I realized that, really, aside from the husband, I don't have anyone that I can really easily meet up with to talk slash and whatnot. I don't know anyone in Nottingham, I can't explain things very well to my coworkers (and none of them would really get it either...), and I'm just...
I miss Jen. I miss Dol. I miss Sheila. I especially miss Katie.
I need someone like that here.
Anyone?
visit other places: dymphna.net / livejournal / wish list
joined: diary reg / diary crit / diary review / tiki reviews / gblog / little queer / hit or miss / mac-made / btjs:cordy
designed february 2002 by kate bolin, dymphna.net design. space provided by diaryland. looks best in ie5+ on a macintosh, but that's unsurprising, isn't it?