ass-lazy tropicana of the mind
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2002-08-05
A momentary distraction from the outside world
Bored.
No, not bored. Just bored of what I'm doing. Need a break, need some time off, need something else to do before that final paragraph tag causes me to snap and there's blood and HTML all over the place.
Just a little break. Too tired to paint lizardmen, too tired to design anything, too tired to really do anything but talk on and on and on.
When I was in high school, people around me always knew they'd get the best gossip out of me when I was half asleep. Jeez, I know why. Get me tired and my entire sense of self-restraint goes out the window, but there's the added inability to actually move, so I just talk.
And with the cost of $15.75, I have made my last eBay purchase in many moons. Or so I say. No more for me. Won't stop me from checking out the Battle Royale listings regularly, however. Still vainly hoping for that t-shirt, oh yes.
It was an interesting glut while it occurred. Still waiting on a fair amount of purchases, but today received my Afro Ken shopping bag that I got for an absolute steal ($7! Including shipping! Good lord!), and I am therefore the happiest Afro Ken lovin' creature in the world.
But no more eBay for me -- I have learned the heartache of shipping, the pain of being outbid at the very last minute, and, above all else, how something you wouldn't look twice at in a store is suddenly the most important thing you can purchase.
But, hey, OS 9 with updates for around �55 and Age of Kings with expansion pack for �25. Ain't nothin' wrong wit' that.
Going to the movies tonight to see Kissing Jessica Stein. I know the plot, I'm just not 100% sure on the content. Is it true that the leads decide to break up and settle down with nice men? If that's the case, I'll end up a bit miffed, I'm sure of it.
So tired of that. So very tired.
But I'm going to see the movie with a couple of people from the Nottingham Women's Bisexual Group, so it ought to be interesting. To say the least.
But I don't know. It'll be weird. Really weird. I mean, hanging out with a bunch of bisexual women, jeez, I do that all the time -- my friends run the gamut of sexual identity -- but hanging out with people that only have sexual identity as a common frame of reference?
It's weird. Like, I don't know them from work, and I don't know them from fandom or a message board or something like that -- I only know them from this one list, and even that's quieter than dormice most of the time.
Very strange for me. Don't know if I quite have the balls for it.
Well, I mean, I will, because I'm too tired to get into a proper "aaaugh, what am I doing?" state of mind, but I will still be sitting there and going "Huh. Weird."
(especially since we're meeting in the non-smoking caf� at the theater and therefore I won't have my favorite nervous habit of smoking to rely on...)
It could be worse, I guess. I could have actually gone into the "Young Gay Lesbian and Bisexual" meeting that one time. God, spending more time dealing with teenage kids and their identity crises -- no, thank you.
So this ought to be okay. Maybe I'll get lucky and there'll be another hardcore geek girl there.
I know I sure could use a friend in this town. I mean, my husband is my best friend, and it's so amazingly lame how much we like going to the same places (let's go to the comic book store! yay! let's go to the cinema store! yay! let's go to the movies! yay!), but, y'know, I can't just rely on him for all my friendship needs -- I need other friends too, if only to prevent me from sitting at home and obsessively rewatching The Wicker Man while he's out with his friends.
And I do have a lot of really close friends. Just...none in them in Nottingham. One's down in Kent, one's in Santa Barbara, and the other's in Carbondale. It sort of cuts down on the possibilities of calling them up and going "let's see a movie. I don't care which one."
(Although Dol and I have already made a promise that we will see Knockaround Guys together -- to save two cinema audiences from the high-pitched squeals of 100% pure unadulterated Seth Green worship. I mean, c'mon, look at him!)
I need friends. Maybe I'll find some tonight. Cross your fingers!
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